Carrier: Untangling the Danger in My DNA - Bonnie J. Rough

Bonnie Rough comes from a family which is genetically predisposed to a health condition called hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia or HED. As she and her husband consider having a family of their own, they start uncovering details of the condition in her family tree, and are faced with harrowing decisions on how they will handle a pregnancy which has a 50/50 chance of producing a child with this life-altering disease.

This memoir captivated me from the very beginning. Not only because it is set partially at the University of Iowa, and then in my old Lake Harriet area neighborhood in Minneapolis, but because it reads in a way that suggests family drama as well as mystery novel. Bonnie's present-day struggle is paralleled by an account of an investigation into her family's past, and the struggles of her grandfather Earl, who lived a life with HED. Earl not only displayed the tell-tale physical symptoms - unusual bone structure, sparse hair and teeth, and the inability to sweat - but also difficulty breathing, infections that never healed, and many years of drug use to numb the physical and emotional pain. These tales are interspersed with accounts from Bonnie's mother Paula, who saw her father deteriorate into an early death, and who herself bore a son with HED. These generational vignettes weave into a beautiful, compelling, heart-wrenching, joyful, terrifying, inspiring account of a journey into parenthood that no one should have to bear. And yet the author successfully brings the reader along and in the end...left me feeling that somehow, this was the way things were supposed to be.

This book certainly addresses a controversial topic. Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, I guarantee you will be affected by this memoir; and if you are a parent, your heart will break 10 times over while reading it. Then you will go hug your kids.

4.5 out of 5 stars